A Change of Heart

So I guess I have a lot to say to those who read my previous blog and have heard the news - I am now keeping my big beautiful man. I thought I'd find it easier as the days went by to know that my big man was going to become a super star in someone else's eyes but it didn't. In fact I'll admit that I've never felt so miserable in my life. I'm ruled by emotions... it's a horrible bloody thing and I fully blame my equally emotional Mother for this. I knew I was doing the right thing in my head... but my heart broke in two. Hearing about the things he was doing, all the good he has become, made me happy for sure, but also made me sad. This is my beautiful baby boy who has only brought loads of happiness to my life, who tries his heart out for me, and overall been patient. My last ride didn't do his new training any justice. My knee gave way to spasms when I was warming up and I had to get off - completely deflated and wanting Evo to not have to put up with it anymore. I love riding him though, he felt so good.

I spent the other night going through my photos of last year. I can't remember why I had to look for a particular photo, but I soon ended up skipping through all the other horse photos I had and focussing on the Evo ones. I came to the conclusion that if I could ride him - bung knee and all - before his training, I had to give it another try... after all Rahn and Charlotte had gone to great efforts to make my horse more rideable to me... yet still remain a lovely mover. I went and rode him yesterday. I could go on and on about my ride, but I'll try to keep it brief. I rode him in the big paddock, which was already a big feat for me - I see a big space and a place full of opportunities... I don't understand why I have a nervous problem, but I do. I ended up relaxing pretty quick, although having really loose reins is something I still have to work on (Charlotte's reins grow, mine shorten haha). The walk, once we began to school was beautiful. He has a biggg walk that's been encouraged on by Rahn. It's something I need to work on as it feels too big to me and I instinctively hold him back. Never the less I tried so hard and earned the rewards. We moved into trot and because I'm having a bad run with my knee, Rahn made me break it down into parts - a few strides then walk again. To be quite honest, I didn't want to stop!! But I did... and then we moved on to more at once. When I had my first real taste of his new trot I burst into happy tears... I have had SO MUCH trouble balancing myself at his trot that I havent had the time to enjoy it... now that it is balanced and slower I enjoyed every moment. Soon enough Rahn didn't have to say "and try again" I was already ahead of her and asking him forward, and the best thing was - NO FALLING ON HIS NECK! That my friends is now a thing of the past! His trot is AMAZING. I'm still gonna need more work to get used to it, but I finally got to ride a trot that I could handle and continue for more than half a frigging circle! Once I hopped off, I needed a 'moment'.. I just buried my head in his neck and whispered "thank you, thank you for showing Mummy just what she was gonna miss out on"... sappy I know!

As for the mares, well Honey is sore. So next week hopefully we'll be taking her out to the Chiropractor to get a big check over and then with the advice of the chiro I will take whatever time she needs to come back into work. I might even get a massage person out for her just to make sure them muscles of her are good. We have Green Horse in April, but we won't go if she's not feeling 100% and I want to make sure I'm doing things right. I can't wait to get back into working her though, and enjoying my ginger mare :)

Pony is doing well... looking slightly smaller by the day, annoyed that she's in a fatty paddock, but otherwise happy. I'm gonna try riding her Friday if I have time. Between horse chores, uni, writing for uni, spending time with Sem before she goes home - I haven't had a great deal of time to ride my horses! I'll get there though!

Signing Out,

Chelle x